Have you ever experienced the sinking feeling in your stomach the moment you realize you've been doing something totally wrong for the last four months and eight days? Maybe someone points out that you've always called them by the wrong name. Perhaps you've made a repeated mistake at work until a coworker or boss alerts you to your error. Maybe you have mispronounced a word your whole life and never knew it. None of these compare to being told that you've been doing something wrong to your child for his ENTIRE earthly existence.
Before you are allowed to exit the hospital with YOUR OWN child, you must be cleared by the nurses (A.K.A: Safety Nazis.) They have to remove the Baby Snatcher Alarm Sensor from the umbilical cord. The final test of safety you must pass before being cleared to remove YOUR OWN baby, which you just pushed from YOUR OWN uterus, from the hospital is the Car Seat Test.
So, my question is....who really knows how to use all those contraptions before they actually have a baby? Not I. The nurses are there to assist you and clear you for take-off. Our nurse showed us how to buckle Kyle into his seat, safe and secure.....or so we thought.
Yesterday, as I was picking Kyle up from the babysitter's house, she says, "so, I have to ask. Why are you putting those straps under his legs?" (She was referring to the way I was putting Kyle into his car seat.) *here comes that sinking feeling....oh, crap....what have I been doing these many months?* I say, "aren't you supposed to do it that way?" She replies, "No! That totally takes away the five-point safety system, for which these car seats were invented!" (I must add that Rebecca has five children, and obviously knows more than the STUPID nurse who "taught" us how to use our car seat.) I trust her knowledge from experience MUCH more than someone who's gone to nursing school. (No offense to Stephen or Jordan....) Anyway, Kyle has a little message for that nurse....

So, I have officially made the first HUGE mistake as a parent. Because of that nurse's false instruction, everyone has been buckling Kyle into his car seat incorrectly. It is one of the first of about a million-or-so ways we will probably screw up his life without him even knowing. Hopefully, we've caught the error early enough that his legs won't be permanently deformed. I'm reminded of a scene from Forrest Gump:
Jenny: What's wrong with your legs?Forrest (Kyle): Um, nothing at all, thank you. My legs are just fine and dandy.
Jenny: Then why do you have those shoes on?
Forrest (Kyle): My momma said my back's crooked like a question mark....(probably from being buckled into my car seat incorrectly for the first 4 months of my life.) These are going to make me as straight as an arrow. They're my magic shoes.
As for now, I will just have to pray that he is smart....in case our car seat error has prevented him from ever being a great sports hero....You can see from the pictures that his happy outlook on life has not been thwarted. However, his legs do seem to be a little on the short side. The sleeves of his top barely fit the length of his arms, but his pants are too long for his legs. Is it because he's a Cooper or because his parents have been cramming his legs UNDER the car seat straps? Only time will tell.