I've recently been reminding myself how these strong willed children are a blessing and this independence can be a great help. Evan has leadership tendencies and is self-motivated, a self-starter. Often, he knows what he wants and can come up with a way to get it done. Evan has been able to dress himself for quite some time now, often picking his own outfits. The latest favorite is the red/black plaid socks. He wore them three times this week. (Yes, they were washed each time.) I'm grateful I am out of the stage of dressing all the kids, thanks to the boys growing up and being more independent.
Rarely, these independent qualities can be frustrating or a negative. Last week, I was called in for a parent/teacher conference over some "classroom concerns." We guessed the problem: Evan has been spontaneously hitting, slapping in the face, and even pinching in the groin area. "It's not done maliciously,"the teachers assured me. "This usually happens because he wants to be in charge or the leader and doesn't get his way or has someone in his way."
Evan is my "physical touch" baby, and thus often expresses frustration in physical ways. This doesn't excuse his use of force to try to convince his peers to see things his way, however.
The teachers assured me they didn't want me to punish Evan or have extra consequences at home. They were more interested in making us aware of what was going on at school and to be informed in case Evan came home talking about how he couldn't play in the tee-pee anymore, had a new towel time spot in the corner, or had to play by himself. These consequences are used most often because Evan is such a social boy. The teachers also told me that he has lots of friends and is a good friend. He just doesn't think about using his words.
Thankfully, they also feel how kind and loving Evan is, despite his sometimes poor choices. Like they do, I keep telling myself that he will be a great leader someday!
